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 In life there are so many simple abilities we have that we tend to overlook, like hitting a baseball and being able to run after you hit it, reading a book, or writing a simple sentence. What comes easy for most of us is a trial for others.
A year and a half ago my 8 year old son was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a high functioning form of Autism. This came as a complete surprise to me. I had known from the time he was a baby that he had “issues” and by issues I mean that he was incredibly gifted with his vocabulary and imagination. Most 15 month olds could not begin to tell you what an “Ultimate Machine of Destruction” was much less build one from legos. He loves building everything his mind can dream up and can tell you every scrap of information on many subjects that interest him from dinosaurs to volcanoes, but the one thing I could never get him to do was hold a pencil or crayon and draw what he was describing to me. This was a very odd idiosyncrasy to me considering that my 3 older children couldn’t keep their hands off of pencils or paper. All three are very talented artists.
The trouble really started to show itself when he started Kindergarten. I used songs and games throughout his life to teach him what he needed to know when he started school but that infernal pencil problem kept rearing its head. I at least managed to teach him how to write his alphabet, numbers and name, but this was the major kicker, he had his own way of holding the pencil and it was a habit I could not break nor could his teacher. During Kindergarten he vastly improved in writing and managed to slip through the system easily to make it to 1st grade. I often wonder how this could have happened. But considering he has a very extensive vocabulary and often comes across as a “Little Professor”, I tend to think maybe he was shortchanged as not trying, though he works so hard to do things the “right way”. Being a military family, we moved during the summer to begin a new school year in another state. For my son this was a summer of preparation. He required a scheduled day with what was familiar to him. Not only did he lose his teacher but he was also in a new school. Lucky for us he had an amazing 1st grade teacher that started to pick up other signs of trouble besides writing and worked with us to schedule testing for him. What could these signs possibly be? Sensory issues for one. There IS a reason he preferred to undress as soon as he walked in the door and food…the issues with food were always there. I just took it as a finicky eater and let’s not start with sports. So he can’t throw or catch a ball well. He’s a big boy and a little clumsy. There are a lot of children who aren’t that good with sports. So what if he is a little loud when he talks or doesn’t think before his mouth starts running. When you tie everything together, from the amazing vocabulary to his clumsiness, it equaled one thing…Autism. Most Autistic children are detached. They aren’t huggy bears that love to snuggle on the couch with mom or need to stop everything they are doing just to give you a huge bear hug and a sloppy kiss, but the spectrum made absolute sense when you looked at my son as a whole, especially with a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome.
This diagnosis opened up a complete understanding of WHO my son is. Yes he can be a complete trial when things do not go his way. To him one minor problem is a huge disaster and all of us pay for it but he is such an amazing child. With the help provided at school he started improving though we did have ups and downs, especially in regards to school lunches. Food is a major issue for him. One thing he doesn’t like touches his plate and everyone’s day is completely ruined. He has a one tract mind. Once he is on a subject and it bothers him there is no getting him off of it. During the last couple of months of 1st grade we had finally worked through his “issues” at school. He loved his teacher and worked very hard for her. He had an IEP (Individual Education Plan) in place and we worked together to ensure his progress. Summer came and with it the knowledge that he worked and improved and made it to the 2nd grade. With the start of the new school year, the problems began again. How many times do you have to call a teacher to tell her that she is not following your child’s IEP? How many times can you bring down a child’s confidence before they start regressing? And why on earth would you even chance a meltdown in school by forcing a child to drink the all- hated milk? Each day my son would come home with some problem that happened at school, usually centered around work that he needed assistance with or being forced to eat something that he detested. No matter how hard we worked at home he was regressing further. A child that loved school began to hate getting up in the morning and found any excuse he could to try to stay home. I felt like I was fighting a loosing battle with his teacher. Thankfully we were scheduled for another move, this one permanent. New school, new house, a completely new State, changes like these in the middle of the year are hard on any child but in a child who requires structure and routine to function, it can have devastating affects. The hardest obstacle we had was preparing him to attend a completely new school and meeting with the staff to ensure his IEP was adapted to fit both the school’s and my son’s needs. The first meeting on the agenda was with my son’s new 2nd grade teacher. When you walk into a classroom you know whether or not the atmosphere is one that ensures the children feel welcome and comfortable. This room was decorated with love. Not just the love for teaching but for all of the children. No matter the learning style or level the child was at there were tools available to assist them. The room was completely decorated in a western motif with “saddle bags” holding books for each child to read and boot shaped containers holding pencils and crayons. Upon meeting the teacher, I knew she was the one that would help bring my son out of the tailspin he was in. She is fun, captivating and experienced with autistic children. My son was ecstatic to start school with his new teacher. After his placement in her class the school adopted his original IEP until their testing could be completed and the district could form and IEP that would work best for him with the resources they have available. The results of their first testing session floored me. To say he regressed was an understatement. His reading and writing scores had dropped substantially from the originals at the start of 2nd grade. His handwriting was so bad that it was also suggested that he may be taught to use an alphasmart so the teacher could at least understand what he was writing. A new IEP was written to work on all of the problems as a whole. The plan of attack being speech, physical and occupational therapy, a resource teacher trained to work with autistic children and his normal second grade teacher. After the meeting I felt very optimistic that we would be working as a team to ensure my son’s success. Now it is the end of the school year and I received a phone call from my son’s teacher. The little boy who was so far behind, that was so uncoordinated he could not hit a baseball, was not only hitting a ball but progressed so much he was awarded the “most improved student” award for the school. I couldn’t be more proud of him. My heart swelled with joy as my husband and I watched him receive his award. His face lit up as they placed his medal around his neck and he grinned from ear to ear. At that moment I think he realized that all of his hard work and determination to succeed paid off. On the way back to his chair he could not resist stopping in front of his teacher to show her his medal. She in turn gave him a huge bear hug and kiss on the cheek. We both will miss her greatly next year. My son is happy and excited about school again. He is confident in his abilities both in school and in sports. So what if he forgets to run after he hits the baseball. The fact that the ball connected with the bat is achievement enough. The running will come with time and teamwork. Click Here to learn more about Asperger's Syndrome
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